Monday, 19 May 2014

I believe

Miss Tick sniffed. 'You could say this advice is priceless,' she said, 'are you listening?'

'Yes,' said Tiffany.

'Good. Now... if you trust in yourself...'

'Yes?'

'...and believe in your dreams...'

'Yes?'

'...and follow your star...' Miss Tick went on.

'Yes?'

'...you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy. Goodbye.'

The Wee Free Men, Terry Pratchett

I admire their passion

As far as she was concerned, conviviality was always a lie. You could fake being nice, she would say, but being a cunt came from the heart.

Idiopathy, Sam Byers

Tuesday, 6 May 2014

Also slippers

There is something awful about mixing violence with cardigans.

The Humorist, Russell Kane